Hello Bookworms, I’ve been recently thinking about simplicity, boredom, and the absence of distractions in an ever-distraction-filled world. I think about many things, maybe a little too much, quite often, but I might start sharing a few of my thoughts if only to relieve the pressure from my brain. I’ve been challenging myself with the idea of living life as; perhaps it was meant to be lived. The obsession with being busy, whether academically, through immersion in social media, or the constant need to accomplish something, is so exhausting. What’s all the more fascinating is that, in actuality, you are being counter-productive and doing yourself a disfavour.

Finding the balance of accepting the fluidity of life in all manners. The way people come and go, how emotions can arise yet dissipate as quickly as they came, are realizations allowing me to reset my overstimulated brain. Even subconsciously, so many external factors affect our mindset and mood that simply…doesn’t have to be there. We aren’t slaves to these mechanisms, these technologies. We aren’t bound to absolutely anyone. I’m particularly sensitive. Both emotionally and in a manner that manifests in my physical senses almost instantly, depending on what I allow myself to be exposed to. I found my constant state of being accessible online, or even in person, was a sense that I would give these precious parts of myself away. Both unwillingly and willingly. It led to profound fatigue. One that went beyond the biological. One in which days of sleep wouldn’t come close to resolving. Further, I felt a sense of isolation and even trauma; from an occasion I couldn’t quite identify and the dreadful conviction I would never acquire the energy I handed out.

With these discoveries, I’m learning that being grateful immensely helps with remaining grounded and seeing the joy in the little things. Something we’ve all heard but somehow failed to implement actively. I can do something every single day that brings a smile to my face. I found it silly how I’d quickly overlooked our day’s beauty. The sun shining gave me an oversized smile, one that was nearly concerning. Biting in a delicious green apple made me feel euphoric, and why shouldn’t it? I’m living. I can feel, laugh, and cry; it’s all a blessing. It all led to the lovely sense that it would be okay. It’s tough to be cynical when your surroundings are so beautiful. Yet, in actuality, we create these environments. Few excuses result in constant conditions that depress or upset you.

Adding to this, I often think about life, and…yes, this train of thought can lead me to questions with notably no answers and have me coming to the same old conclusion of feeling in awe at how big life is, the universe is. And at how little we do know. Although human suffering is nothing new, the recent global tragedies have led me to think more precisely and compare my circumstances to others. I don’t consider myself religious in that I identify with a church, but I believe we all have our religion, and at the end of the day, the labels you attach to them are subjective.

I wonder if individuals get retribution once “life” ends. Is karma even real? Pondering about destiny, I’m not certain it exists. Yes and no. I like to believe there’s someone or something..some force up there, down there, anywhere guiding me, helping me through a path perhaps set before I was even on this earth. But I also like to believe we all have the personal power and autonomy to achieve whatever we’d like. I don’t want to think anything, even a preconceived theoretical destiny, could contain us. Perhaps there’s a definitive goal we are meant to attain, and the route we take is not substantial; conceivably, it’s not the goal that’s our destiny but the way we get there, the way we navigate through life. Ultimately I don’t know. Not something I adore since I wish I knew all, but that’s how it is, and it’s like that for a reason.

I wondered how some could be so religious that it was correlated to their soul and was their rationale for living. But I can understand now, even if it’s just slightly. The reality is that there is no answer, yet some are simply so unlucky. Why isn’t it me who was born in a third-world country where constant famine and struggle are just all I’m used to? Why did someone’s child across the world end so tragically soon, yet here I am today? Why me? And why them? To me, asking these questions makes it seem as though there’s an explanation, but perhaps the reality is there is none, and if there was, that is when it would all be unfair.

I think it’s up to individuals to become conscious of the perpetuation of injustice they reside in. Although these issues are systemic, marginalization and stigmatization go beyond personal responsibility and are contextually ingrained within society. However, I believe that realization, education, and harnessing powerful conversations with often silenced voices will lead to significant changes.

Then again, I feel I’ve said a whole lot of nothing. I could go on forever, and no, I’m not kidding.

Something else that’s helped me when I’m feeling overwhelmed and plunged into a state of sadness or despair, one you consider that isn’t even rational but is never-ending, is merely taking a breath. And dumbing. Everything. Down.

Let’s all simplify things. It should never be that serious. Do the things you love, and do them exactly when and how you want to. Always stay true to yourself, and recognize at the end of the day…maybe it’s not all that deep. Be nonchalant. Stop clinging to things. Allow yourself to hurt, feel emotions, and feel them so deeply. But understand they will pass, and there doesn’t have to be a reason for everything. There doesn’t have to be a rationale for every emotion, every sense you feel. Sometimes things just are; life just is. I can truly empathize with those who find it hard to move on. I inherently cling to people, to places, to memories. Although I would characterize myself as relatively independent, I was oblivious to this habit. I felt guilty when I relied on others, requiring them for even the simplest things. But I’m human. And what even is being human? Well, I presume it’s all about connection. It’s about feeling anything and everything, feeling them together. Survival is dependent on the most straightforward actions in my eyes. Human touch, laughter. Community, cooperative movement, the way we thrive in such an imperfectly perfect manner…it truly is beautiful.

And does anyone even know what’s really going on…

Thanks for reading.